Now we have just started this new way of eating (I don't call it a diet because it's more of a lifestyle.) that limits carbs and categorizes your meals into two main kinds - meals with very limited carbs and unlimited fats and meals with a bit more carbs and low fats. The whole plan is also low sugar as well. So in helping me along with this new plan, I told him Monday night that I wanted to have a rule that I have to ask if I want to eat anything with excess sugar (mainly sweets like chocolate and candy and such).
|Ok, it was a little dangerous searching for a picture with tons of desserts in it!|
On Thursday I had a brunch to go to and I knew there would probably be some sugar-laden snacks there. So in the season of breaking in this new rule early, I sent Foothills an email saying:
Today is the ladies winter brunch at church and there will most likely be sweets there. Can I have some? :)
He replied back to me right as I was getting ready to leave the house and I briefly read over his email. Instead of simply saying, "Yes, you may have sweets there," he specifically outlined what I was allowed to have:
Good girl J
You can have one larger item (like a cupcake or piece of pie) or two smaller ones (like candy or cookies). You’re choice. I’ll be sure to ask you how you did on this.
When I read that, an excited little chill ran through me. I liked being told what to do. I really never thought I would say that, ever. See, I am an only child. I strongly favor my dad's independent personality and when Foothills and I started dating, that was one thing he had to "break" me of somewhat. I would plan things without even telling him and expect him to be okay with it. It was just hard for me to transition from being a single independent woman to being one of two persons in a serious relationship together.
But now, I realize that rules cause me to need my HoH more because I have to clear things with him first. I picture myself whispering permission while we are at his parents house, or giving him a look before I take a piece of pie and him giving me a look back, saying "It's okay, you can have it, my love." Oooh, it just makes me so madly in love with him!
I still balk at some ideas I see on DD blogs where the HoH dictates what he wants his woman to wear or exactly how he wants his woman to address him in public, etc. But I realize that every relationship is different and while I may feel extremely inhibited from some of these rules, other TiHs may feel empowered by them. I think the addition of this rule has made me appreciate our DD relationship even more, and has given me more reason to feel needy towards Foothills, which is what he longs for!!